Put The Past Where It Belongs
We’ve all been there, done that…right? Of course, we’ve all experienced a breakup and then dash into another dating relationship thinking that this one will somehow be different from the first.
What is the reason for this popular scenario that seems to exist like a bad plague in the GLBT community? Some will say it’s to bypass the hurting feelings that follow a breakup, or others may say they hate being alone and rush to the next available candidate. There could be a million reasons why this appears to be all too common.
Please don’t think that I’m only accusing the GLBT community and overlooking the heterosexual world. Most single people (men, women; gay, straight; young, older) want to get over the hurt quickly and think another loving and intimate relationship is just the cure.
My perception of why this frequently happens is quite obvious for the average Joe. Just think about it. Who wants to waste time feeling miserable and aching for someone who doesn’t want you?
But if a relationship goes sour after awhile, it would be wise to take some time to seek out the reason of why this happened. This is common sense if you want to learn something and not repeat the same mistakes. With each relationship that you take upon yourself, can be a learning experience that teaches you countless things about yourself and others.
Therefore, getting down to the truth of the problems will reduce traveling down the same road later on. This is why it makes sense to have a period of time away from the dating world after a failed relationship. It takes time to get it all together again, and make rational decisions.
The point that I’m making is that in order to prevent a similar experience from happening twice, you need to make peace with the past and then leave it in the past. By doing this, you are forgiving yourself and the other person, which makes moving forward easier.
Until next time, be sure you’re ready before starting a new relationship and it will have a better chance of working.
NYC gay media shake up
Gay blogs and news fiends have been talking up a storm the past few days, after two New York City gay media staples have found themselves facing uncertain futures. D.C.’s Metroweekly has the best run-down of the events so far.
HX, the city’s premier gay nightlife magazine, has been sold to undisclosed buyers. Publisher and HX Media CEO Matthew Bank has said the last issue HX published by his company will be distributed on July 10. After that, what happens to the mag is of yet unknown.
At the same time, Bank announced that publication of The New York Blade has ended and the editor laid off. Like HX, The Blade’s future is up in the air.
“Everyone was let go, but the people on The Blade know that they may come back if The Blade is coming back,” Bank told The New York Times. “It doesn’t have an issue scheduled until a week from Friday. There are a lot of things that can happen between now and then.”
Bank blames dropping advertising revenue for the decision to stop The Blade’s publication. Its recent Pride issue had only 28 pages.
“Gay pride is to gay publications what Christmas is to retail,” Paul Schindler, editor of the rival Gay City News, told The Times. “When I pick up The Blade and it’s in 28 pages, then this is a business that is in serious problems.”
The Gray Lady reports The Blade’s circulation has dropped to 22,000, and an auditing firm says it had dropped to a mere 16,000; to help put that number in perspective, Q-Notes circulation is 11,000. The website of Window-Media, one of several part owners of The Blade and owner of the Washington Blade, Southern Voice and others, still lists the paper at 52 pages with a readership of 100,000.
New at Q-Notes: Pride across the Carolinas
Be sure to check out Q-Notes’ newly updated, upgraded and splashy cool Pride micro-site. Featuring all the information you’ll ever need on upcoming Pride festivals across the Carolinas. As each successive Pride draws near, you’ll find updated and in-depth information on all of each Pride festival’s events and goings-on with special coverage of larger Prides like Pride Charlotte, NC PrideFest and SC Pride.
Take a peek today:
www.q-notes.com/pride/
Newly updated information as of July 1 includes detailed event listings for Pride Charlotte, with detailed listings soon-to-come for Charlotte Black Gay Pride.
Be sure to click over to the Pride micro-site often, especially as Pride Charlotte nears, for great information and coverage.
Perdue appoints conservative to Mecklenburg court
N.C. Gov. Beverly Perdue yesterday appointed Judge Eric Levinson to the seat of Resident Superior Court judge for Mecklenburg County. Levinson is replacing Judge David S. Cayer, who has accepted a position as U.S. Magistrate Judge for the Western District of North Carolina.
Levinson isn’t a newcomer to the state’s judiciary and he does have some great judicial experiance. According to the governor’s release:
“Levinson recently spent time in Iraq as a Justice Attaché for the U.S. Department of Justice. He also has consulted with the Supreme Court of Afghanistan to help develop its civil court system. Prior to his judicial service overseas, Levinson spent five years on the North Carolina Court of Appeals. Before joining the court he served six years as a District Court Judge in Mecklenburg County and four years as an assistant district attorney for Cabarrus and Rowan counties.”
The jurist has been praised for his past judicial work. Writes Jack Betts of The Charlotte Observer, “Levinson was widely regarded as a highly capable, effective judge when he served on the N.C. Court of Appeals and as a district judge in Mecklenburg.”
But does Perdue’s appointment of this Republican judge cause any concern for the LGBT community?
Levinson — a conservative Jew — has rarely indicated his personal views on matters pertaining to LGBT equality. He’s also rarely discussed other views near and dear to the hearts of anti-gay fundamentalists, such as abortion or euthanasia. But, he has spoken out about his strong faith, in somewhat curious ways.
What Are You Fighting For?
It’s clear that the majority of the human population is usually fighting for something. It could be fighting for Equal Rights to ensure better lives for younger generations to come or getting people to recycle more or it could be fighting with your neighbor’s dog over who gets to the Sunday morning newspaper first. Whatever the situation, there is a lot of competition out there. However, it really hits home hard when you are fighting for something that will change your life in some way and affect the lives of those you care about.
If you’re like me where you actually add up all the time that is lost by doing basic tasks such as making the bed or simply brushing your teeth, but how often do we think about the time we use for enriching the lives around us?
When life gets to its lowest, we often reconsider the direction that our lives are heading. We take a step back and glance backwards and see the curvy path that has lead us to our present situation. We can see the good as well as the not so good. Yet with each step forward is a step that is something we have experienced, learned, and accomplished. All these experiences are there to help us grasp what life is about…uncertainty.
So, what are you fighting for? Are you fighting for an increase in pay, or getting your partner to take out the trash, or for the injustice in the world that will have an ever-lasting affect on humanity? It boils down to what you think is worth spending your time fighting for?
Then comes the question of HOW to fight for the cause. Do you sit down with your partner and discuss the issue calmly? Do you do it by talking to others and getting others to see the validity of your points? Do you organize a public protest to bring attention on a larger scale?
Whether large or small, pick your battles carefully. Have a goal in mind and work toward that goal with a plan.
Until next time, work toward a better world in whatever way your conscience guides you.
Elke Kennedy on CNN American Morning
Just got a note from some colleagues in D.C.:
Greenville, S.C.’s Elke Kennedy, mother of slain gay son Sean Kennedy, is scheduled to appear on CNN’s American Morning, Friday, June 26, 6:10 a.m. EST. As always, TV news broadcasts and segments are always up in the air. Don’t blame me if you wake up early and Elke isn’t there. 
UPDATE: Just got word the Kennedy spot was canceled. Oops. Sorry y’all.
SC Equality calls for action
SC Equality is asking folks to contact U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) to address their concerns over an email he sent regarding hate crimes legislation:
Last week, Senator Jim DeMint sent a letter to South Carolina pastors and religious leaders urging them to speak out against hate crimes legislation and further asking them to get their church members to speak out as well.
We are asking YOU to let your Senators know that you support the pending hate crimes legislation! And tell Senator DeMint to stop lying about hate crimes legislation.
SC Equality is making it easy for folks to take action:
Contact Senator DeMint by email.
Contact Senator DeMint by phone.
Contact Senator Graham by email.
Contact Senator Graham by phone.
DeMint’s email:
From Senator DeMint
Subject: Hate Crime Legislation Must Be Stopped!Dear Pastors and Religious Leaders:
The long debate over the “separation of church and state” has convinced many religious leaders that their opinions are not welcome in political debates. Many pastors hesitate to explain that government policies have helped cause the decline of America’s culture, morality and spirituality. Many people of faith have given up their freedom of speech and the freedom to practice their religious principles in all areas of their lives.
I am writing to you today to remind you that religious principles and biblical teachers produced the values and policies that made America exceptional, prosperous, and good.
In recent decades, Congress and the courts have adopted policies that have proved destructive to faith, families, and freedom in America, but no one action has been as damaging as the “hate crime” legislation will be. This hate crime legislation will replace “equal justice under law” with arbitrary justice based on the race, religion, or sexual orientation of criminals and their victims. More importantly, it will lead to the criminalization of biblical truth as “hate speech.”
Under this legislation, a pastor who teaches that homosexuality is wrong could be accused of a hate crime or charged with “inducing” a violent crime against a gay person.
Please tell your congregation this legislation is not about “hate” (all violent crimes are hateful); it is about taking away your freedom to speak and preach biblical truth. It will take away your right to say that some things are wrong. We need millions of Americans to call and email their Senators, especially Democrat Senators who are pushing this legislation. Majority Leader Harry Reid has promised to pass this legislation in the next few weeks (the House already has).
To learn more about the “hate crimes” legislation, refer to Family Research Council’s reference page on the topic, www.frc.org. And to find out the email addresses and phone numbers of your Senators, link to www.senate.gov, or call the Capitol operator at 202-224-3121. Please act this week.
Sincerely,
Jim DeMint
U.S. Senator
What does R stand for? Rude.
A constituent emailed his N.C. House representative concerning his “no” vote on the School Violence Prevention Act during its second reading on Tuesday.
If you’re a little behind on your news, you might have missed its final 58-57 passage in the House on Wednesday. It was presented to Gov. Perdue’s office at about 5:30 today and, according to chatter on Twitter.com, Gov. Perdue says she’ll sign it.
Anywho, back to the email. Rep. Wil Neumann (R-Gaston) (pictured right) was one of the mostly 57 Republicans who voted against the SVPA. After this constituent emailed his rep to address his concerns, Neumann fired back with a snippy and curt response. But that email exchange is nothing. An earlier one gets Neumann trotting out just plain old “traditional values” anti-gay bigotry, spoon-fed straight from the anti-gay Christian Action League.
Both emails after the jump…
In the news: Anti-bullying bill clears House
On June 22, Q-Notes reported on the School Violence Prevention Act’s passage in the House. It awaits a third and final vote on Tuesday, June 23.
Here’s what other news agencies and blogs are reporting…
“In order to introduce sexual preference into the statute, the sponsors of this bill have chosen to use children in the public education system,” said state Rep. Dale Folwell, R-Forsyth and who is a former school-board member. “Republicans do not feel this way. Republicans feel that we are against bullying of anyone, at any time, at any place.”
…
All school districts in North Carolina are already required to have anti-bullying policies. But if this bill passes, school boards will have to ensure that their policies explicitly mention all of the characteristics listed in the bill.
The current anti-bullying policy for the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County school system defines verbal bullying, in part, as “derogatory, demeaning or hostile comments about another student’s race, disability, ethnicity, or gender.” The policy makes no mention of sexual orientation or gender identity.
State Rep. Earline Parmon, D-Forsyth and a former school administrator, said that she believes the wording in the bill sends a clear message to teachers and principals that they must protect all children.
“This has nothing to do with homosexuality, because if it did, my own prejudice may cause me some problems on supporting this bill — I just have to be honest,” Parmon said. “But what this bill does is protect all children.”
The Progressive Pulse, NC Policy Watch blog
North Carolina Conservatives are lying about sexual orientation and gender identity to bully the anti-bullying bill into submission. To defeat SB 526, the School Violence Prevention Act, Republican House Minority Leader Paul Stam and the Christian Action League have been claiming the existence of 30 sexual orientations as listed in the DSM-IV, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) of the American Psychiatric Association. No such list exists. It is a fabrication of conservative Christians used to defeat any legislation that can be presumed to protect the human rights of gay people.
Capital Beat, Greensboro News & Record
Guilford County Schools already has an anti-bullying policy that at least as detailed as the one called for in the bill.
Rep. John Blust, a Greensboro Republican, complained that many of the bills supporters had blocked measures to give teachers greater authority in their classrooms.
“Many of those same people don’t want to allow teachers and administrators to be real strong disciplinarians,” Blust said.
But Rep. Alma Adams said that the bill was needed.
“Discrimination, whether it is about age, or race or gender or anything else is a bad thing,” she said. “This bill is a good thing.”
Follow Q-Notes‘ story on the SVPA for the most up-to-date news on the bill.
They’re back! Anti-gay program airs again in Charlotte
From GLAAD’s Director of National News, Cyndi Creager (link):
Back in February, we blogged about partnering with LGBT community members and leaders in several local markets who were responding to an anti-gay infomercial titled Speechless: Silencing the Christians, which was produced by the American Family Association. Local expressions of concern led stations in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Columbus, Ohio to either decline to air the infomercial or postpone airing it indefinitely.
Just this week GLAAD has received three more reports of constituents spotting the anti-gay paid program on their local affiliates. One person saw it in West Hollywood, California on Independent Cable Channel, KDOC on Sunday, June 21, where it aired from 7 to 8 p.m. Another GLAAD constituent alerted us that the infomercial aired on WJZY the CW Channel 46 in Charlotte, North Carolina on Saturday, June 20 from 9 to 10 p.m. And we heard from other GLAAD constituents that the program aired on KMPH Fox 26 in Fresno, California on Sunday, June 21 (Special thank you to these twitter users for the heads up on Fresno: Gayrainarmy, k8cch14 and jace78).
GLAAD is encouraging the public to take action on the issue:
We hope that people who live in the markets served by the three stations that are reportedly now airing this anti-gay infomercial will reach out to the stations using the contact info below. Help them understand why you are deeply concerned that they could be providing a platform for an out-of-state anti-gay group to create a climate of fear and hostility in your community.
As always, please use a respectful, approachable tone and appropriate language when voicing your concerns about this program.
WJZY-TV (The CW)- Charlotte, North Carolina
Joe Heaton, Programming Manager
(704) 944-3340
jheaton@wjzy.comWill Davis
Vice President and General Manager
(704) 944-3305
